This morning I had to take two gallons of milk into the preschool for the Christmas party tomorrow. As you can imagine, carrying two gallons of milk plus a Henry Boy in an infant carrier is not the easiest task. I encouraged Kailey to go ahead of me so she could "push the button" (handicap button) to open the door for me. Being that Kailey is wanting to help all the time, there was instant excitement. She ran up ahead of me (also exciting because I always make her hold my hand; she's a runner) and pushed the button. As she skipped through I thanked her and told her she was awesome. Her reply, "Yep, I am!" Of course I giggled a little.
There was a time in life when it was really hard for me to accept anyone's compliment. At one point I had a conversation with someone about compliments and how it's sometimes annoying when the recipient won't accept them. I remember the person saying they felt turning down a compliment was almost offensive because it's like telling the giver you don't respect their judgement. I started thinking about this idea and it really kind of made sense. I can't say I accept compliments as confidently as Kailey did this morning, but I definitely won't tell someone they're wrong anymore. When I started to accept compliments it did a lot for my confidence and allowed me to see myself in a different view; through other peoples eyes.
A compliment is an expression of someone's admiration. Let people freely admire you once in a while; I promise, it won't hurt.
Thursday, December 18, 2014
Monday, December 8, 2014
Enjoy the ride!
In this life we have many choices and hard decisions to make. Each new choice brings bits of adventure. Sometimes the adventures are lessons, loss or something trying. Others are laughter, joy and hope. This roller coaster of life seems to be picking up speed for me. I'll just continue holding on tight and looking for the enjoyment in every bumpy section. I feel lucky to have a husband and family to enjoy the adventure with.
Thursday, December 4, 2014
That silly cliche: All You Need is Love
I was never much of a Beatles fan until about six years ago. There was something about them I wanted to resist. Maybe it was the fact that everyone loved them so much. Then, I really listened to them and realized people liked them for a reason: they're good. (I know Grant, if you're reading this, my cool meter probably fell down a few notches, but at least I like the Beatles....never the Beach Boys).
Of late I have been feeling sort of off. I can't quite put a finger on exactly what's off, but life just is. If I really sit back and look at the things I've had go on in the last 5 months there's a lot piled up. I gave birth to a child, of which had to have a major surgery. My husband had to have a procedure done on his heart that seemed more scary than it really was because they didn't have all the facts completely correct. My family is also coming to grips with the idea of moving in a couple short months.
My plate has been nothing but full.
Through lack of sleep and frustration I have tried to maintain for myself the most composed state I can muster. This hasn't always been easy. I have been short with my children, my husband, not been a very attentive listener, and depressed.
Last night I arrived home from work and nothing was different than any other day. The kiddos were in bed and Nicholas was watching something on the tube. We heard Kailey upstairs. Nick went up to make sure all was well (if you saw the barricade we made in front of her closet to keep her from playing at bed and nap time you'd understand our worry). Nick came down and told me she would like me to give her a goodnight kiss and he left her door ajar. I went upstairs and slipped into her room. She saw me coming. I could feel her warmth inviting me to kneel down for a hug. Once I found myself hunched over, her arms shot out and around my neck with the tightest little squeeze I've had in a long time. I gave her a "true loves kiss" and told her good night. She whispered she loved me and we wished each other sweet dreams.
She will never know how much that hug meant to me. She will never understand that her unconditional love and quick forgiveness teaches me to be a better woman, wife and mother everyday. What I am coming to realize is it's easier to love others and not always easy to love myself. Trouble is, I can't really love someone more than I love myself in some cases. (That's a whole other blog post in itself).
One of the tools I am progressively trying to master is tapping into love at all times. In times of anger, sadness, kindness, depression, happiness, and frustration. A day filled with woe can be a day filled with love, if only I allow it.
Time to turn the off of life back on.
Of late I have been feeling sort of off. I can't quite put a finger on exactly what's off, but life just is. If I really sit back and look at the things I've had go on in the last 5 months there's a lot piled up. I gave birth to a child, of which had to have a major surgery. My husband had to have a procedure done on his heart that seemed more scary than it really was because they didn't have all the facts completely correct. My family is also coming to grips with the idea of moving in a couple short months.
My plate has been nothing but full.
Through lack of sleep and frustration I have tried to maintain for myself the most composed state I can muster. This hasn't always been easy. I have been short with my children, my husband, not been a very attentive listener, and depressed.
Last night I arrived home from work and nothing was different than any other day. The kiddos were in bed and Nicholas was watching something on the tube. We heard Kailey upstairs. Nick went up to make sure all was well (if you saw the barricade we made in front of her closet to keep her from playing at bed and nap time you'd understand our worry). Nick came down and told me she would like me to give her a goodnight kiss and he left her door ajar. I went upstairs and slipped into her room. She saw me coming. I could feel her warmth inviting me to kneel down for a hug. Once I found myself hunched over, her arms shot out and around my neck with the tightest little squeeze I've had in a long time. I gave her a "true loves kiss" and told her good night. She whispered she loved me and we wished each other sweet dreams.
She will never know how much that hug meant to me. She will never understand that her unconditional love and quick forgiveness teaches me to be a better woman, wife and mother everyday. What I am coming to realize is it's easier to love others and not always easy to love myself. Trouble is, I can't really love someone more than I love myself in some cases. (That's a whole other blog post in itself).
One of the tools I am progressively trying to master is tapping into love at all times. In times of anger, sadness, kindness, depression, happiness, and frustration. A day filled with woe can be a day filled with love, if only I allow it.
Time to turn the off of life back on.
Tuesday, December 2, 2014
Feeling the music again.
Sometimes songs change us and sometimes they allow us to feel the things that have changed us. For me, this is one of those songs. It's haunting, full of emotion, and oh so sweet. Love will do that to a person.
Connection
What is the definition of connection? A relationship in which a person, thing, or idea is linked or associated with something else.
There are many ways to be connected, and many things to be connected to.
A few years ago I was at a yoga retreat and the teacher was talking about a spiders web with gems, much like water droplets, at each intersection. Each gem was to represent every person. The teacher went on to explain each movement of the web, however big or small, influences every other person in the web of life. I have often thought about this story and looked back on things in my life and noticed how my movements have affected those close, and far from me. Sometimes it's not always so obvious. Here's a link to a story of the spider web for those interested: http://www.susunweed.com/herbal_ezine/September05/pf_goddess.htm
There have been times in my life when I have felt an instant connection with a person while others it may have taken time to feel connected. I was recently talking about how I had a moment with a friend of mine where there seemed to be no one else in the packed room but the two of us having our conversation. I can't even tell you what the conversation was about or why we were so engulfed, but there was a connection that was not to be mistaken.
My best friend and I had not seen each other for over two years until recently. I was so excited to see her but the closer I got to being in her company, the more anxious and almost depressed I got. I was not apprehensive about our reunion so much as I was scared we'd grown apart or that our connection may have gotten farther away (the connection I have with her is one I can almost visually see, from my heart to hers). Of course I realized we still have a lot in common, even more so now that we both have children. We can still support each other in our goals and dreams even without having each other within a reasonable driving distance.
Being far away from someone doesn't take the connection away. It can sometimes make you feel like the affect of movement in the web is smaller, but it's still there. There are also times when the movement is felt, but helping is nearly intangible. For me, that's the hardest part. Not being able to be physically there. Not being about to touch, hug, cry with, celebrate or give love in the physical body.
Sometimes being connected is enough.
There are many ways to be connected, and many things to be connected to.
A few years ago I was at a yoga retreat and the teacher was talking about a spiders web with gems, much like water droplets, at each intersection. Each gem was to represent every person. The teacher went on to explain each movement of the web, however big or small, influences every other person in the web of life. I have often thought about this story and looked back on things in my life and noticed how my movements have affected those close, and far from me. Sometimes it's not always so obvious. Here's a link to a story of the spider web for those interested: http://www.susunweed.com/herbal_ezine/September05/pf_goddess.htm
There have been times in my life when I have felt an instant connection with a person while others it may have taken time to feel connected. I was recently talking about how I had a moment with a friend of mine where there seemed to be no one else in the packed room but the two of us having our conversation. I can't even tell you what the conversation was about or why we were so engulfed, but there was a connection that was not to be mistaken.
My best friend and I had not seen each other for over two years until recently. I was so excited to see her but the closer I got to being in her company, the more anxious and almost depressed I got. I was not apprehensive about our reunion so much as I was scared we'd grown apart or that our connection may have gotten farther away (the connection I have with her is one I can almost visually see, from my heart to hers). Of course I realized we still have a lot in common, even more so now that we both have children. We can still support each other in our goals and dreams even without having each other within a reasonable driving distance.
Being far away from someone doesn't take the connection away. It can sometimes make you feel like the affect of movement in the web is smaller, but it's still there. There are also times when the movement is felt, but helping is nearly intangible. For me, that's the hardest part. Not being able to be physically there. Not being about to touch, hug, cry with, celebrate or give love in the physical body.
Sometimes being connected is enough.
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