Happy Happy Joy Joy

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

Harold Whitman

Lately I have been reading a lot of different books. It seems like every book I chose to read had a similar idea or goal; happiness. What is happiness? There are many different definitions, and many different paths to supposedly get there. I say get there because to me, happiness is a place. Not a physical place you can drive or travel to, but a place inside of me. I don't think I ever really thought of it like that until just now. Everyone has their "happy" place to tap into when things are getting rough. I think sometimes we forget how to get there when things aren't tough, we just wait for happiness to happen to us. Happiness is not something which can be purchased. Items which are purchased bring temporary happiness but in the end, it's all just stuff. Lately, less stuff makes me more happy. I can't stop going through our house and thinking to myself, "Do we really need that? Have we used that in a while?" Then I find myself donating things or passing them on to someone who may need it more than me or who could get more use out of it that I would. Having less clutter in my physical world somehow made my internal world feel better. Part of me believes I am aware of how chaotic my life is right now and my thoughts are going 90 miles an hour trying to figure things out and when our home and space is cluttered and messy, my head feels more messy. 

Being an adult sometimes seems like more trouble than what we envision it as a child. We always wanted to be older so we could do the fun stuff. Having children has reminded me how much of my spunk, fun and happiness for the moment was depleted. A child may be playing with their favorite toy and have their whole world torn apart because they are asked to do something else. They are so in the moment. There is nothing else; pure happiness. It's not a choice for them, it just is. For me, happiness is a choice. Anger is a choice. Love is a choice. Often I have to remind myself that. 

Somehow this post feels a bit off track, so let's get back to the quote. What makes me alive? The things I do that make me happy make me alive. For too long I have deprived myself of some of those things because I don't have time or because I feel selfish taking time to myself. The reasons are endless. But when I really sit down and think about it, I have to chose to make time for the things that light me up and fill up my tank. When I don't, I tend to get irritable and frustrated which makes for a no fun Mama or wife. When I start feeling like no fun or am getting frustrated often I get hard on myself and it feels like a whirlwind of unhappiness.

Knowing how crazy things are, I am making sure to find time to be happy. I'm finding time to be myself and do the things I want to do; the things that fill up my tank.

I am coming alive, watch me soar.