This song spoke to me the first time I heard it, and continues to speak. Not only have I been bad with listening, I've been shutting down, not wanting to talk about feelings, not wanting to make decisions for fear of them being the wrong choice, and not saying what I need to say. Why? Fear I tell you. Quite honestly I feel as if I've lost a huge part of myself with the move to Bremerton. Maybe before I moved it really started. I remember having conversations with Nick then, and him feeling like I was quiet or not listening. This balance of life has been tilted and I'm flailing around one ice trying to get it back. There is so much to be said, and nothing to say at all. Round and round I go.
"You better know that in the end, it's better to say too much, than never to say what you need to say again. Even if your hands are shaking and your faith is broken, even as the eyes are closing, do it with a heart wide open. Say what you need to say." -John Mayer
I'm speaking my truth. I'm learning to be better. Laying it all out on the line and feeling the power of expression. I will say it......
Its hard to listen when people aren't talking with you. My whole life, when I have been extremely upset, I keep it to myself and let myself suffer alone. Every once in a while, I'll open up to my mom and I did to some I trusted to betrayed me and then just recently with my first love. You're not a bad listener if no one is confiding in you and acting happy. I know this. You're a great friend, Rena, and I think that I do need to start opening up to you more, cuz you have gone through just about everything I am going through. You are special and important to me. I'm just hesitant and hurt right now. But it will pass. And I'm always here to listen to you. :)
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