Say

Anyone who knows me know I LOVE Mr. Mayer. Ok, so he's kind of got a bad wrap for speaking his mind, which may be why he wrote this song now that I think about it....but I digress.

This song spoke to me the first time I heard it, and continues to speak. Not only have I been bad with listening, I've been shutting down, not wanting to talk about feelings, not wanting to make decisions for fear of them being the wrong choice, and not saying what I need to say. Why? Fear I tell you. Quite honestly I feel as if I've lost a huge part of myself with the move to Bremerton. Maybe before I moved it really started. I remember having conversations with Nick then, and him feeling like I was quiet or not listening. This balance of life has been tilted and I'm flailing around one ice trying to get it back. There is so much to be said, and nothing to say at all. Round and round I go.

"You better know that in the end, it's better to say too much, than never to say what you need to say again. Even if your hands are shaking and your faith is broken, even as the eyes are closing, do it with a heart wide open. Say what you need to say." -John Mayer

I'm speaking my truth. I'm learning to be better. Laying it all out on the line and feeling the power of expression. I will say it......

Communication Skills

I recently had a group project due in my college 101 class. The idea was I would get up and teach the class about communication skills. I had the subject of verbal communication. I was pretty excited about the project because I felt like I was a pretty good communicator. I thought....

Nick and I recently had a discussion and he was telling me he didn't feel like I was "hearing" what he had to say. I mean, he knew I was listening, but he didn't feel like I was getting it. Initially I just chalked it up to something more like he and I seeing things differently and there was nothing I could do about it (I know, I'm a bad wife ;) and assumptions are a horrible thing). Later on that week I was talking with some friends and one of them told me he felt like I wasn't listening. Honestly, I probably wasn't because I was so excited to be with friends from school and telling them about me I wasn't doing a very good job being a friend back. I was being the person that always had a story to tell right after someone told theirs (as I'm writing this I'm now wondering how much more I do this than I completely realize?). Hopefully not a one upper person, but a story teller person. Either way, it wasn't good. It immediately clicked in my head, the conversation I had with Nick. Maybe I wasn't hearing him.

Do you know what makes someone good at communication? Being a good listener. True story. Think about it friends, how can you really communicate with someone if you're not listening because you're interrupting to tell your story? You won't understand the person speaking, can not connect with them on a deeper level and can gain no sense of empathy. Duh! Try listening next time and see what cool things you'll learn about someone.